Kindness is my anchor

Yhe Nazarene (or at least the idea of him) introduced me to this strange concept. I never paid it much attention when being raised as a Catholic.
Then, I met a Hindu who radiated kindness, compassion and selflessness.
Don’t tell her (she’s now my wife), but she reminded me of the Nazarene.
In the years that followed, I let go of religion, and even the concept of god. But kindness stuck. At the time, I didn’t know why. But it still was the basis for everything I did or worked for.
Then came the questioning of free will and with it, morality. Kindness, compassion and love followed.
I let go of free will and even morality. But still, kindness stuck.
I came to learn that free will is probably an illusion. Reality itself might be an illusion. So of course, morality goes with it. But there’s no way to say for sure. And so, I steadfastly choose to believe the illusion. Because it feels real. And for now, that’s enough.
Within this illusion, I learned that kindness has it’s uses. It keeps society together. It makes life within this society easier. It makes me feel better when I practice it. The science within my illusion supports its practice.
Even if it’s for selfish reasons; even if my children, the main inspiration for my kindness and compassion right now, are an illusion, I choose believe in them. Dumb by choice.
Kindness is my anchor.